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| Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ Jimmy DeMaret |
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| A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can putt very well. ~ Anon. |
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| Dan Kleinrock, Jess Monzo, Tom Carlon, Doug Bush, Tom Gerdy, Gary Jannarone, Todd Marut |
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| If you drive, don`t drink. Don`t even putt. - Dean Martin |
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| Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. - John Updike |
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| It`s good sportsmanship not to pick up lost ball while they are still rolling. ~ Mark Twain |
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| Golf is the cruelest game because it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around. ~ Rick Reilly |
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| Golf is essentially an exercise in masochism conducted out-of-doors. ~ Paul O`Neil |
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| Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny |
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